Note: If you’re eloping or having a micro-wedding (my FAVORITES) these still apply to you!
Over the years I've probably helped over 20+ brides build their wedding day timelines. It's one of my most beloved ways to serve clients.
If you search Google or Pinterest for "wedding day timelines" there are hundreds of articles from wedding planners, other brides, and random bloggers. But if you keep in mind this tangible takeaway from the day (your images!!) you should consider talking with your photographer and filmmaker as foundational voices in that process. You’re trusting them to capture your memories. Have a heartfelt conversation about what is important to you. The following items may be different than what you feel, and that’s ok! They’re my opinions and experiences, they break rules, and they feel right to me. I treasure hearing what brides value, even if they break the rules as well. Do what feels right to you.
As a not-so-long-ago bride (2.5 years married at the time of writing this), I remember people pressuring me about spending a lot of time with guests before they left. Which is 100% valid! But the reality is that many guests left immediately after our ceremony. And for the bride and groom, those first hours after you’re married can be a blur of shaking hands, maybe some dancing, but mostly looking like two adorable newlywed deer in headlights. It’s a lot. For introverts or the socially awkward like me, it may not feel natural to be mingling in a crowd of people (even loving, incredible people) right after one of the biggest moments of your life. I wanted space to process and be. But I felt super guilty for needing space. In those first moments after the ceremony, it might feel more natural to cuddle your new spouse by the lake at sunset and take a minute to breathe and kiss. Yes, this time to breathe includes a photographer/filmmaker. But for me, it was worth it. They knew my heart. I trusted them and let them into that sacred moment.
Take it from a bride, photographer, and filmmaker who has seen it time and again — these moments are MAGICAL.
So, lots of time with your guests. Priority in my book? Maybe third on the list. But you already know my #1….
My #1 priority is building a wedding day timeline around maximizing time with your photographer and filmmaker. Does that mean they should take three hours to get you to your reception and your family? No. (Not unless you’re eloping with no one waiting on you. In which case — carpe diem.) Photographers/filmmakers should respect your time with guests. What does this mean practically? Prioritizing at least 45 minutes of portrait time with JUST THE BRIDE AND GROOM. This is my absolute top priority. And although I’m flexible on when, right after the ceremony is the best. Images of you fully present, freshly married, those first few moments with the "whoa" look still in your eyes. If this can be at golden hour — freeeaking MAGIC.
The #2 priority on my list is individual portraits of the bride and groom. This includes shots of the couple getting ready and newlywed portraits just after the ceremony. Think, bride putting on earrings, walking out the door with her bouquet, sitting quietly and gathering her thoughts by the window. Groom putting on cuff links, the swoop as he puts on his coat or tightens his tie. Intimate family moments are even better. Mom zipping the wedding gown, best man helping the groom with his boutonniere.
Priority #3 is time with family and friends! (I said earlier that this was probably going to be #3.) Those dear people who have traveled to be with you, lived life with you, know all your secrets and embarrassing stories from freshman year, the ones who are here to celebrate you. This is the time for all the candid moments of glasses clinking, jokes and bad dance moves shared. You’ll treasure these forever. If you eloped with a small group or even just the two of you, maybe these kinds of images happen at dinner, a romantic picnic, or a bonfire afterward.
Next, #4 — appreciate the details of the day. Remember to look around at the fun things that made the day your own. S’mores bar, donut wall, lawn games, or simply your favorite people hanging out. With any wedding, chances are you invested a lot in elements like flowers, or your friends spent hours making the tables just right. Encourage your photographer/filmmaker to document the beautiful details that made the day uniquely reflect who you are. If you're eloping, the place where you got ready, the bouquet, her dress on the mountainside, buttons on his coat, wind in her hair, scenery, moments of you walking to the perfect spot — those translate here.
Ohh #5 and slowing down to savor the in-between moments. Be prepared for this day to go by in a blur. At various times throughout the day, try to take some deep breaths, look around, and be as present as possible. Chances are you’ll see some things and feel some things that you’ll remember forever. Your photographer/filmmakers will be doing the same (always on-the-ready with a keen eye). I’ve already mentioned some of these in-between moments — the stillness, the nervous-but-hopeful looks in your partner’s eyes that say “I’m going to marry the heck out of you,” the tears from loved ones. These special moments are easy to miss. But they're the best ones. If captured on camera, these are the images you'll look back on in 30 years and still get all the feels and they’ll end up being the heart of your day, I promise.
#6 _____. I have intentionally left this blank. Consider it a “choose your own adventure” option. Each couple is different with unique stories, pasts, and favorite special elements. What is closest to your heart? Make sure to clearly vocalize that — and why — with your photographer/filmmaker. I love knowing the deep meaning behind, for example, the bride dancing with her family (turns out dancing is a super fun thing her family loves to do together!), the groom eating ice cream (turns out his favorite food is ice cream and he has that in place of his cake!), or the couple hugging a special mentor who got them through a difficult time. Share those deep things with us that we could never find out on our own.
What I remember most was writing a letter to Luke at my grandmother’s dining room table before the sun came up on our wedding day. The way the sunrise sparkled through the juice glasses on the table next to the strawberries and my jewelry. My mom finishing hemming my dress that morning because we forgot. The wind blowing in my veil by the water during bridal portraits. Talking through the door to Luke before we ever got to see each other. Riding on the all-terrain golf cart up the mountain for our newlywed portraits, the way it felt kissing on the top of the mountain at golden hour with my love I’d married 15 minutes before, curling up in a white fluffy blanket at the reception while trying to steal bites of the good food, and the look on Luke’s face as he introduced me as his wife for the first 38 times.
What do these things make you feel? What things will become anchors in your wedding day timeline? I know yours won’t be the same as mine, but if anything I’ve said has resonated, I would love to connect and help you prioritize the life-giving moments on your wedding day.
